Confessions from April 1992

Twenty Funny Folk Songs! I just hope they have security at Tower Records when this goes on sale.

Will to Live-o-meter
Each successive call whittles away not only Andy's will to live, but his faith in humanity. Well, at least the humanity of sad, lonely hippies.

Fatal Flaw
Andy spends the duration of the show acting.

Andy solicits callers to confess their greatest misdeeds. Andy confesses not only stealing money from his movie theater job as a teen, but also recycling used popcorn buckets. Bastard. Ken confesses inadvertently killing an old man by tweaking his respirator to get some sleep. It happens. It happens a lot more than you think.

Since even less people read this blog than listen to the radio show, please feel free to confess your transgressions in the comments. Only Andy will pass judgement on you. And, I have a feeling he judged you a long, long time ago.

The episode is cut short and includes these Bonus Tracks:
Andy Live at The Bottom Line
Andy singing "Railroad Bill"
"Harassing Toll Booth Attendants" segment

(201) 209-9368

Believe it or not, Andy and Ken already have a topic for tonight's show.

To get involved, save these banner images and post them on all your blogs and websites when tonight's show begins. If you don't have blogs or websites of your own, you can always print them out and leave them around town, open the images on the desktops of Apple Store computers, stick them to car windows, e-mail them to old girlfriends from secret hotmail accounts, paste them to your pets, wear them as bracelets, etc.!

Remember that the goal is to recieve calls during the show from people who don't even know why or where they're calling, so try to leave the banners in places that are totally out of context.











It would be great if you could post on the blog and let us all know where these guys end up.

Venture Capital (from June 7, 2000)

Oh! Then, I'm the Idiot? So, we're not laughing with me, we're laughing at me.

Will to Live-o-meter
It's a bad start out of the gate, but there is a miraculous recovery. Then after he mistakes Pete Best for Pete Rose, Idiot Andy is replaced by Savvy Randy.

Fatal Flaw
Andy is afraid to reveal the idea on air because another Venture Capitalist is likely lurking near a radio to turn the ideas into gold.

Other Show Concepts Discussed
The first Seven Second Delay ever: Pitching Movie Ideas to Executives and Agents.

Callers come up with dotcom ideas to pitch to Andy's own personal Venture Capitalist, Sonny Monosson. As Andy reminds each caller, Sonny passed on a little startup company in 1986 called AOL. Here are the ideas that you know who creamed his pants over:

• HappyCapRock.com (Andy's Idea) - A site for guys with caps that are happy and rock.
• FreeCrapola.com (Ken's Idea)
• UsedRecords.com
• GeekInABasement.com - Rent out a geek to run your website.
• Babysitters.com - Actually exists. Caller Zack should use the archive to get his cut of the action. Middle aged men should order one today!
• WeeMail.com - A site for families and friends to follow newborns
• PubliclyTradedBand.com
• WhatDoYouThink.com
• Effigy.com - Online Voodoo Doll. Because Everyone hates someone.

Sonny is no longer with us. Please bow your head in a moment of silence before proceeding on to the comments section.

Nostalgia

May 23, 2007: Planning Ken's Funeral and other Failed Concepts

1. The show that this episode was a retread of was called "Memorization Disaster". It's hard to say how that went. Probably great. However, which concepts (if any) merit a second (or third) shot? I don't have an answer to this. I'm just asking.

2. Should Ken re-archive the pre-2002 low-quality shows? The answer to this one is yes.

Stamps that Stick

To receive your own version of Andy's Stamp Syndicate (A.S.S.) Certificate, send Ken a little e-mail.

∞

May 9, 2007: Who's the Best Mommy?

On a scale from 1 to 10, I miss Andrea's posts about 10.

Now, I know that's a lot, and I can't imagine anyone misses her on here more than me. So, if you want to console me in the comments, that would be great. Of course, by the slim chance you might miss her more, please let me know. I need to build character.

The Last Post of the Rest of Your Life

We don't need to write anything ever again.

May 2, 2007: The No-Lulls Fight Show

I was in a fight one time. And I was... a girl.

Don't know if I'm supposed to say anything or not...

I really got into a huge fight with someone. Because it was a snowy night on a golf course and I, uh, I had a lot of clothes on, obviously, and someone pushed my friend down the hill -- it was a boy -- and I was forced to get into a huge fistfight with a, a guy. And I was about 18. And I just wailed, it was amazing, just punch punch punch. And, uh, then, I took off my cap, or somebody took off my cap, and turned out it was a girl, and he was very embarrassed. But the truth is I just wanted to keep slugging him because...

It was awful. And that's my whole story, you know, girls get into fights too... And uh, I have to leave now. Goodbye.