We're Talking To You! No, You!

March 28, 2007: Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions

Ken and Andy provided answers for the questions that their callers often receive. We ask you to enrich the Seven Second Delay experience by doing your own Al Jaffee and providing the perfect (yet, not hostile) response to the questions from the show.

To Beth accompanying the tutu-wearing Molly,
"Did you just have dance class?"

To Ken with a dog with a lampshade on its head,
"What happened to her?"

To the surveyor using a transit,
"Are you taking picures?"

To the Williamsburg programmer,
"Are you an artist?"

To the causcasian parents of a Filipino child,
"Is that your son?"

To the bass player,
"Don't you wish you played the flute?"

To Andy,
"Is that thing loaded?"

To the blind woman,
"Do your senses increase?"

To the comedy folk singer,
"Say/sing something funny."

To the 13 year old,
"How much homework do you have?"

To the website guy,
"How do I start a website/my life?"

To the hot-looking foursome photographer,
"Can we take your picture?"

To the record store guy,
"Is this the new Modest Mouse?"
"How much is this CD?"
"Does the whole CD sound like the song I heard on the radio?"

To Ms. Welcome,
"How do you spell your last name?"


jwgh said...

I came up with three response to 'Are you an artist?' Perhaps someone can improve on them.

(1) No, I just dress like one.
(2) Only when I sleep.
(3) No, I'm 52.

Mostly these responses are supposed to puzzle the questioner and leave him or her with nothing obvious to say (without being hostile).

Anonymous said...

i love the squeaky mic.

js said...

I think the guy in Williamsburg should just respond 'Yes' to 'Are you an artist?' Then, if the questioner follows up with some variety of 'What kind of art do you do?', he should respond that he's a performance artist and that he's been working on a single piece for the last 15 years: he gets up in the morning everyday and behaves exactly like a computer programmer would.

Also, for the spelling of Welcome: "It's spelled with one 'C'."

Anonymous said...

for the "are you an artist" question, how about, "No, but I play one on TV"

Anonymous said...

For the Williamsburgh kid:
Are you an artist?
- No but I'm morose!

For the blind woman:
Do your senses increase?
- Yes, I knew you were going to ask that.

Anonymous said...

i got a snappy answer today that made me laugh.
looking for a parking spot, my husband and i asked a guy loading his car " are you leaving?" he said "yeah, but i'm taking the space with me"