Lie Detector Program from February 2000

"That was pathetic."
-11 year old Julie Breckman
"It was pathetic on purpose."
-44 year old Andy Breckman

Foreplay Topics
Ken's Velvet Painting collection, Ken's failure at Thunderdome, Andy's Portuguese Houseboy

Will to Live-o-meter
Andy wavers early on with no callers to start the concept. He resorts to threatening call-screener, Justina, which works surprisingly well.

A classic Ken vs. Andy battle. Host A tells a story while Host B (and 2 callers) guesses whether it is true or false.

For your consternation:

Andy's Tales:
  • Pete Seger owes him lunch.
  • Two kids were arrested copying an SNL skit he wrote.
  • George McGovern sat next to him on a cross country flight.
  • Madonna and John Oates roll their eyes at his failed joke at dinner.

Ken's Tales:
  • Jack Benny is his 6th cousin.
  • Johnny Thunders lived in his dorm.
  • He likes Hall + Oates.
  • 13 year old Ken found $168 floating underwater in Barbados.

The result. Andy comes from behind with a close victory. But the true triumph happens when Andy realizes that their lives are boring if these are the best stories they can come up with.

BONUS STORY: Ken jogs Andy's memory about the time Andy hit Rhea Perlman with a tennis ball while trying to impress her and Danny Devito. It is mentioned that Andy wrote about it on the website. Eight hypothetical points to whoever can find the article.


jwgh said...

Here it is!

Anonymous said...

What ow was it that Julie called pathetic?

Anonymous said...

Or what SHOW, rather...

Anonymous said...

Never mind. Listened to the lie detector episode. It was the previous episode. Snowball Fight? I WANNA HEAR IT!!! trainwreck or not...

Anonymous said...

I don't think the snowball episode will be rerun any time soon. Ken awarded it with only four stars (... size="-1").

Robin said...

I wish there were some Tippy Turtle episodes online! I just saw White Like Me the other night on a Best of Eddie Murphy ep.

"Tell me, do you know of any other banks like this in this area?"

Austin said...

8 hypothetical points jwgh! Nice.

More importantly, does anyone watch, or as the case may be... DID anyone watch Studio 60? Matt Albie (Matthew Perry) is always bouncing a ball. Andy bounces a ball in his wild pitch story. What have I been doing wasting all this time NOT bouncing a ball for?

AKB said...

I looked high and low for Tippi Turtle online, all I could find was this picture

On the Lie Detector episode he brushed Tippi Turtle off like it was a failure, but I remember everybody in my middle school singing that theme song. 'Think I'll go home and get drunk'.