The Return

April 2, 2008: Battling Facebooks

Welcome back to the culture of commentary.

Three weeks off the air with no explanations can generate a lot of questions. Tonight, everything was answered with the first post-waterboarding episode of Seven Second Delay, which followed in the grand tradition of foreign policy-related show hiatuses like 9/11 and Andy's USO trip to Baghdad. The answer to the question "is this the show?" is, sadly, yeah.

In this week's trainwreck, Andy went head-to-head with Ken and technology in a Facebook duel. Ken tempted listeners over to his side with the promise of the waterboarding video, which by now might have lost some of its innocently sadistic charm and is now more a weird and unsettling snapshot of Seven Second Delay history.

Additional show notes:

Can it be true that no one has read this book yet? How can this not end up being read on the air? From Manless in Montclair's Amazon page: "To Isabel's surprise, she enjoys the dating game in spite of the almost constant flow of letdowns, near misses, and largish disappointments, and promises to underwrite a vacation for whoever introduces her to her future husband. Among the contenders is JDate-find Larry, who warns her that his post–prostate surgery sexual prowess is like trying to shove a marshmallow into a piggy bank." Hmm! Seems plausible, right?

Also, I registered for Facebook solely for the purposes of the show and the fatal flaw of that plan is that I now find myself with a Facebook account and one friend. Obviously I have to quickly accumulate a quietly respectable amount of friends and then forget about it totally. I can't abandon it now with my one friend because the internet historical record will then reveal me to be a loser, but if I turn it into an active hobby I will also be remembered as a loser for maintaining that obsession to any excessive degree.

Life is tough.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Aww, do you want me to be your friend? I am in the same boat, signed up to see my niece's vacation pics and now I feel like I am lurking around a high school.

jwgh said...

I signed up for facebook so I could play Scrabble with my friends. Which is still basically all I do with it. Fun, though.

Duncan said...

I DO want you to be my friend! You can move up in the world and start hanging out around college-aged kids.

Also: was this a show with no calls?

Robin said...

Hilarious to hear Andy diss Jesse Thorn, as if he had no idea who he was (he probably doesn't remember even being on TSOYA) and they said MY name 3 times... ON THE RADIO!

I'm not being sarcastic.

Joe said...

Theres never been a show with no calls D. The most recent trainwreck (parent impressions) did have no calls by the 40 minute mark and by that point K&A were receiving calls more out of pity

..I tend to prefer the 7 Second Delay shows that are flame outs, where the concept utterly fail, noone is calling, and Andys begging for calls as he brought his daughter to the studio and doesn't wanna be embarrassed

That happened on the video (the pilot for Manhattan Cable TV!)

Anonymous said...

Hey Duncan - Andy's got a nice pic of himself up on his Facebook page now so you can replace the big question mark.

Also, sorry about the three week disappearance! Andy and I were both suspended for two weeks due to the waterboarding incident, and then the third week I was out of town. Kelly was supposed to do the show with Andy but she got sick at the last minute and with me out of town, I couldn't get a re-run together. I'm very sorry about that. This coming Wednesday (April 9), Kelly is again supposed to fill in for me but I will have a re-run prepared just in case. Andy and I will be back for good on April 16th.

The google bomb idea is a good one!

-Ken

Joe said...

Talking about trainwrecks, I think its a fine line between bad and bad its good. Kinda like Can't stop the music (bad film thats MASSIVELY entertaining) and Napoleon Dynamite (so bads its just.. bad)

I mean, I've a tape of the Audio Radio Word Search that, altho it doesn't have a skull and crossbones upon it, does say "worst episode ever"

The show K&A came up with for the pilot tho about leaving impressive answering machine messages (Christ) was fun cos the silly billies were halfway thru the show before they got a legitimate call (the first was a fellow wanted female callers to leave messages thanking him for shaving their backs)

So its a very fine line.. that was a good show though, cos it was on film and Andy had to use the gag about the lights on the phones being so blinding when in fact noone was calling. The guys kind of looked embarassed actually

Of course Audio Word Search - God that was bad. I think Ken got off the only gag (such as it was) and Andy spent the whole hour reading off letters, which is as exciting and as entertaining as it sounds

He might've spent most of that show reading the newspaper after giving up at the half hour mark ("losing the will to live"). And who could blame him?

Andrew said...

Andy said my name on the radio! Multiple times!

pfapfap said...

I only listened to it once, but I think there were zero calls. Andy made a half-hearted attempt and gave out the number at some point, but I don't remember anybody calling in.

Also, I've been listening to older shows because of the lack of fresh meat, and I was wondering about the metro diary thing (which was a GREAT story arc). The week after they tried to re-create the story, they talked about how they got another story published. This is false, correct? The prank was to drive the editor insane as he tried to suss out the false story that didn't exist?

Anonymous said...

pfapfap - Yes, that claim was false, we were indeed trying to drive that evil editor out of his mind. -Ken

Joe said...

Poor kid
Hope she didn't lose her scholarship!
Someone should chip in, buy that editor a sense of humor...