First Annual Last Ever

May 13, 2009: The Seven Second Delay Picnic

One very springtime afternoon under the watchful gaze of Lady Liberty, a BYOSnack Picnic broke into a vicious rumble between the Ken/Nick-led Great White Sharks and the Andy/Julie-led Greater White Sharks.  While calling the play-by-play of an event between two similarly named, abled, and storied picnic factions might stumble your average sportscaster, Ted Berg deftly delivered a superbly detailed audio canvas for the listener at home.  So, thorough and in the action, that I am sure a few listeners shared in the same nausea that live picnic-goers felt.

Kicking off with the classic, Tug-O-War, the GWS literally pulled their team into an early lead over the G'erWS using sheer will and additional bodies.  The G'erWS kept it close early using their ringer at the less classic Picnic Handstand.  Keeping their momentum alive, the G'erWS took top spot with the waterballoon toss.  Finally, the team captains stepped up and tied themselves to hippies for the three-legged race.  Though, Andy delivered the tried and true comedy, Ken delivered the win.  The GWS never looked back.  Three time eating competitor, Nick the Bard, scarfed down four Scooter Pies and two bananas, then muscled up to steer the human wheelbarrow for a decisive GWS victory.

After it was all done, I would like to think this will become a classic among the tomes of Seven Second Delay classics.  I point to these two moments while looking for spoons for the non-event Egg Race.

"You know who has spoons?  And, I'm not kidding here.  Junkies." - Andy
"How is it that you guys could find wheelbarrows, but couldn't find spoons?" - Ted Berg

As always, make sure to compliment your relistening pleasure with the viewing pleasure once again supplied by jdalton@wfmu.org.

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