A Dirtbike and Hamster in Every Garage.

November 28, 2007: Youth Advisor Elections

Yes, Seven-Second-Delay Listener, the time has come. Your voice has been heard.

For years, your plaintive cries were stopped by the apathetic muttering responses of "I don't care." or "Is this gonna be a long story?" Your hope for free speech on open airwaves has taken a backseat to the quasi-virtual reality of the giftshop at Seaworld. Even for most of you, the years you've spent preserving your testosterone-laden commanding register is stopped short by the slight on-air afterthought that is "Oh, finally. A woman."

Yes, there were times when your choice did matter, like when you chose the musical stylings of Devendra Banhart (a male) over the musical stylings of James Taylor. Or when you fought tooth-and-nail on Radio Hangman to avoid the musical stylings of James Taylor. And it was your tax-deductible donation that got the head of an overpaid Hollywood screenwriter dumped in a flushing toilet.

Well, this past Wednesday, for an entire hour, you participated in a true democracy for perhaps the most difficult decision yet: the future of WFMU on the taxpayers of tomorrow. You listened to the big questions asked across America today (or perhaps watched them instead of that dancing Hindu dwarf again.) You took note of the candidates' stances (putting oil back into the water, $15 vouchers at all border-crossings, we don't kill Iraqis, monsters don't eat us). And, when all was said and done, you picked the one kid who holds the fate of free-form radio in his tiny little hands.

Yes, Seven-Second-Delay Listener, you voted for him... AND YOU CAN'T BELIEVE YOUR VOTE GOT THROUGH!

Andrew, 2008 WFMU Youth Advisor..... he is OUR long-time listener.

(paid for by the Committee to Let Long-Haired Hippies In and Keep Iraqi Orphans Out.)

This Group Has Something for Everyone

All the cool kids are joining our new facebook group. It's called "We Love the Show" and it was started up by Listener Jeremy.

Shall We Dance?

The Nepotism episode includes the subplot of listing movies from Andy's favorite genre: Forbidden Dance Movies.

They came up with:

• Footloose
• Flashdance
• Dirty Dancing
• Shout
• Lambada
• Swing Kids
• Silk Stockings (excerpt)

Saturday Night Fever was vetoed by Andy since the cops were not trying to shut down the Discotheque. It is a good point, though. The Frowned Upon Dance Movie Genre is far too expansive.

The show was from 1993. Surely, there must be some recent Forbidden Dance Movies that don't star John Travolta in or out of drag. Whoever comes up with the most Forbidden Dance Movies will be featured in my next post: "Sevenseconddelay.blogspot.com Commenter of the Week."

Happy Thanksgiving!

November 21, 2007: Nepotism (from January 1993)

This episode promises celebrity gossip and an enthusiastic Andy Breckman, which is always great. Forget your family blessing this Thanksgiving -- all you need to do is play this great old episode while everyone waits to eat. In it, Andy asks age old questions like: "Give us one example of how Neil Diamond's son was someone you wouldn't want to go to Disneyland with." You know. Instant classic.

Losing My Religion

November 14, 2007: Slang Contest

No bar mitzvah. It's interesting, though, how the initial disappointment at plans falling through in predictable Seven Second Delay fashion gave way to something great.

Here's three reasons why this week's episode was especially notable:

1. One of the funniest Seven Second Delays of the last few years, if not ever.
2. Andy in new comedic territory: rape jokes and incest jokes. I think there was a child molestation joke in there, too. They're kind of quaint by this point. Next week, it's a rerun from 1994. Watch for the dramatically different comedic stylings of Andy Breckman. More energy? Definitely. Funnier? I don't think so.
3. Beth's call: one of the most uncomfortable Seven Second Delay moments ever, and that's saying something. Did she really say "you're not the man I married?" Wow. Also: Andy wrote poetry? Wow.

Trick or Tchotchke

October 31, 2007: Radio Trick or Treat

In a rare moment in 7sd history, Ken followed through on one of Andy's whims. During the Halloween show, Ken and Andy asked listeners to email photos of their children in their Halloween costume to then have the kids call in to say "Trick or Treat" plus maybe a darnedest thing or two.

The photos flooded his email. The calls trickled in. The kids and the darnedest things did neither. FATAL FLAW - 7sd airs during the prime tricking and treating time.

As the train started wobbling a bit on the track, I emailed a few photos and sent a few text messages. This is how it went down. A few days later, my ladyfriend was hesitant to open an envelope from a freeform radio station with mysterious hair package taped to it. Ironic, since she taped mysterious hair to her face only days before. Another friend was surprised by the package from the picture of her daughter I sent without their consent. I was spared their ire by using the Cops Pixelation Technique.

I would like to take the end of this post to thank Ken for the candy and stickers and to remind readers that the FCC has approved the word "Asshole" when speaking about Andy.

Best of LCD Book Event

From the wfmu homepage...

Come on out for the Best of LCD book event in SoHo TONIGHT (Tuesday)!

Best of LCD contributors Chris T, Miriam Linna, Ken Freedman, Andy Breckman and Dave the Spazz will read, spin anecdotes and possibly spin a record or two this Tuesday night November 13th at 7pm. McNally Robinson Bookstore is located at 52 Prince Street (between Lafayette & Mulberry) in New York City. The Best of LCD features the best art and writing from FMU's legendary program guide and can be purchased from your favorite bookstore or over here.