Long Times, First Times

July 25, 2007: Practical Jokes (From August or September, 1991)

As a special treat to the Seven Second Delay "completists" amongst us, Ken chose to rebroadcast the second Seven Second Delay ever. In this episode, we hear a boyish Andy Breckman and former WFMU program director Dave Newgarden discussing pranks. We also hear the very first use of the "long time listener, first time caller" joke.

Andy: Hi. Thanks for holding. You're on the air.
Caller: Um, this one--
Andy: Listen, you know what, this is my second show, and I'd love someone to call sometime and say, "Hi Andy. Long time listener, first time caller." I'd just be a thrill for me. So could you try that?
Caller: Long time listener, first time caller.
Andy: Oh, thank you very much! Well don't be nervous.
Caller: It's the truth.
Andy: I bet.
Caller: No, really.

Dead Air

July 18, 2007:

The title doesn't refer to the movie/marathon premium, but instead clumsily alludes to Seven Second Delay's absence from the airwaves this week. In lieu of any supplemental podcast, I guess we are all invited to quietly think about our favorite Seven Second Delay shows.

Weeks off are much more depressing when they follow a bad show, I might add. Bad shows should be redeemed. Let's hold out hope for next week. See you then.


P.S. Speaking of Dead Air, did anyone get their copy yet? This is a serious question. Not like all those fake questions I ask.

Bulletproof Nanny

July 11, 2007: It's Not Fair! (or good)

Ken and Andy performed a little experiment on the children. The show was based on a study that had interesting results with subjects with higher levels of testosterone. Yet, they chose to turn away a seven year old with the voice of Mickey Rourke.

On a side topic, Ken laced into Andy for putting the nanny into peril while visiting my westcoast hood. For the record, everyone visiting needs to remember that gangmembers are just as scared of you as you are of them.

Phisher of Men

July 4, 2007: Religious Conversions (from Dec 20, 2000)

It seems no Christians ever leave comments on our blog.

You know who I thought was really hot? Mary, Jesus' mother. For a mom. She was a young mom... His girlfriend's name was Mary, also. She was hot. She was a hooker. He fell for a hooker. "She really likes me, I can tell," just like every John. But, He wasn't like every other John. He was the Son of the Lord. That's how He differed from the other Johns. Like at the parade of shame when they parade all the Johns through Jerusalem, I bet He was in the very, very front. I'm very fond of Him. I don't throw the word "love" around the way some people do.

That should do it.

Getting Jeremiah Drunk

From the Archives of Seven Second Delay

September 10, 1995: Getting Jeremiah Drunk

If we wanted to make him to puke, all we'd ask him to do is read one of my scripts.

Foreplay Topics
Andy lets the listeners decide the shows topic: Beijing Women's Conference or Get a Guy Drunk

Fatal Flaw
Ken has an itchy trigger finger on the delay button while a drunk Jeremiah recites the Woodchuck tongue twister, but he misses the S-bomb in the last minute.

7sd as Nostradamus
When a caller recounts a DUI experience that involves Don McLean's American Pie, Andy reveals his anti-McLean leanings. "Monk" is mentioned (about 100 times) in regards to a drink and a Chekov short story.

As a public service for the Back-to-School episode, Jeremiah, Andy's personal assistant, is sent to a bar to inform our younger listeners the dangers of alcohol (at least, that's the story given when Andy's mom calls in). Ken and Andy stay on the phone with him throughout the show to monitor his descent as 7sd callers suggest drinks. Before and after the archived show, Ken informs the listener of Jeremiah's fate, condemning Andy. Though, the record should show Ken should bear the brunt of the blame. Andrea, beware! This is the same gig that Ken keeps trying to hook you up with. Listen and learn: Stay in School.

The Drinks
2 double shots of vodka
1 Screaming Nazi
1 Cosmopolitan
3 Russian Monks
1 Goddess
1 Vodka Martini (shaken, not stirred)

Where are they now?
Jeremiah
Matt (Jeremiah and Andy's Cohort)
The Female Caller Who Suggested "The Goddess"
I don't actually have a link. I just wanted to ask if anyone knows where she is.