A Dirtbike and Hamster in Every Garage.

November 28, 2007: Youth Advisor Elections

Yes, Seven-Second-Delay Listener, the time has come. Your voice has been heard.

For years, your plaintive cries were stopped by the apathetic muttering responses of "I don't care." or "Is this gonna be a long story?" Your hope for free speech on open airwaves has taken a backseat to the quasi-virtual reality of the giftshop at Seaworld. Even for most of you, the years you've spent preserving your testosterone-laden commanding register is stopped short by the slight on-air afterthought that is "Oh, finally. A woman."

Yes, there were times when your choice did matter, like when you chose the musical stylings of Devendra Banhart (a male) over the musical stylings of James Taylor. Or when you fought tooth-and-nail on Radio Hangman to avoid the musical stylings of James Taylor. And it was your tax-deductible donation that got the head of an overpaid Hollywood screenwriter dumped in a flushing toilet.

Well, this past Wednesday, for an entire hour, you participated in a true democracy for perhaps the most difficult decision yet: the future of WFMU on the taxpayers of tomorrow. You listened to the big questions asked across America today (or perhaps watched them instead of that dancing Hindu dwarf again.) You took note of the candidates' stances (putting oil back into the water, $15 vouchers at all border-crossings, we don't kill Iraqis, monsters don't eat us). And, when all was said and done, you picked the one kid who holds the fate of free-form radio in his tiny little hands.

Yes, Seven-Second-Delay Listener, you voted for him... AND YOU CAN'T BELIEVE YOUR VOTE GOT THROUGH!

Andrew, 2008 WFMU Youth Advisor..... he is OUR long-time listener.

(paid for by the Committee to Let Long-Haired Hippies In and Keep Iraqi Orphans Out.)

8 comments:

SueB said...

i hate the rape jokes.
as a woman it makes me cringe.

Like the 'n-word', is andy trying to diffuse the force of the word?

It isn't working for me. Though I DO laugh at the absurdity.

Anonymous said...

Andy just loves to go for the cringes. Remember why he loved to use the phrases "tough titties" and "handjob on tuesdays"?

robin.g said...

Congratulations Andrew! It was a close race. I do believe Jack Cohen will go on to great things. He's a leader.

Joe said...

I love how on "Handjobs on Tuesdays" Andy would forget his crib sheet (of what straight was, as opposed to gay) and would accidentally get fooled by a guy who convinced him guy liking guy was straight!

Dead Air was produced by Tough Titty Productions btw!

Anonymous said...

I like the rape jokes, but then I like Holocaust jokes. And I'm a feminist Jew. It's the total inappropriateness of it that does it for me.

Joe said...

Andy of course is a balding self-loathing Jew..

Anonymous said...

This vote was rigged! Andrew had the support of Diebold! Uncover the truth about the moon landing!

Anonymous said...

Jack voted yes on the Iraq war! Andrew was once a lobbyist for the tobacco companies, regularly takes contributions from them, and to this day has sided with them on every proposition in congress ! Luca was once a drug user, and a noted philanderer! Only Jesse has a spotless past, a solid campaign and isn't being run by the lobbies!

Uncover the truth about the moon landing!