5 People You Meet In Heaven

September 27, 2006: Obituary Bingo

1. The person who suffered more than anyone else, with a doctor’s note in hand.

2. A bad person who was too cowardly to commit bad deeds, but who somehow won the esteem of the world’s nine-year-old lads (and thus, by proxy, the chick population).

3. The inventor and patent-holder of the Gay/Straight Chart, which has helped many college students overcome their sexual confusion.

4. A lonely hippie, who was admitted through insufferable persistence alone.

5. A member of the mysterious 1% of the earth’s population esteemed by Andy. Most of these people have IMDB entries.

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